American Football is a sport founded upon lies and trickery. The foot is not used in the game predominantly - no, the hands, they are the main weapon in this game of human chess. And yet you hear them scream "LET US PLAY AMERICAN FOOTBALL." I do not understand.

Arena Football is much like its seditious brother, but is played on a smaller field, with smaller, twenty-man teams with players playing both your O and your D, over only 50 of your American yards, with 8 yard endzones. It is, as they say, a funny old game.

While one may question how much the arena situation really affects the football game, it is evident from your first few plays in the game, which are a maelstrom of thunderous muscle-torture and pigskin japery. Due to the claustrophobic nature of the game, players vault across the Astroturf at high speeds, crushing the opposition at 60 FPS, oftentimes double-teaming a poor player, one thrusting him into the air, the other slamming him down to the ground. For some reason, tackles are as numerous as they are horrific - you will be replaying them time and time again purely to laugh at the sheer insanity.

The small field also leads to some tight, heart-stopping games, where quick-fire tactics really pay off. Unlike Madden games, you have more control over your wide receivers, giving you that edge when the ball goes astray at the last possible moment - the whole experience is visceral, and a joy to watch and play. With lightning fast, smooth, and remarkably good looking graphics, it's one of the most streamlined sports packages out of there, thankfully toned-down from the usual faux-machinery/technophilia motif of 90% of the EA games out there.

However, the graphics can be a let-down too, with a lot of players running through each other, which is only really noticeable in replays. This is a shame, because some of the greatest times in this game can be had from playing the Benny Hill theme and speeding up game-ending tackles. Sometimes this can only add to the comedy though, so I support it is hard to criticize the game for it. However, the jaggies are alive and well, as is to be expected in our dear Playstation 2's dying years.

Arena Football is a big surprise - what could have been a lazy cash-in license is a well put together, well thought out, and well conceived game that can be enjoyed by both arena-football-diehard-joehonkies and your new-to-the-game Zitrons. It's far more fun for a quick pick-up-and-play than a Madden game, and while it feels somewhat less epic, the theatrical intersections and zoom-ins to the "OHHH, DAAAAMN" big hit screen indicators let you enjoy this for what it is - a remarkably silly, yet ridiculously fun game. For forty dollars, you won't get a hooker, so get this.

Mar 27, 2006 | 0 comments
Ed Zitron