To start with, let's get a show of hands: How many people were worried that the decision to produce a new console with architecture similar to the GameCube would result in a lot of lazy and hasty ports to the new system? Let's see… 1… 2… 3… um, okay. Yeah, a lot of you-us, too. Sure, Nintendo's line was that developers were familiar with the hardware and could, therefore, churn out higher quality titles faster and sooner after the console's launch. That's good logic, but some of the launch titles for the Wii are really showing that such logic may give a few developers more credit than they deserve. For every quality developer really focused on creating an advanced product, it seems there are two ready to make a quick buck with a simple port. Want an example? There are a few we could mention, but let's start with The Ant Bully, from Midway. Based upon the movie of the same name, The Ant Bully focuses on the further adventures of Lucas-the oversized nemesis of the insects who has magically been reduced to their level. The movie was cute enough for what it was, and the game tries to expand the concept by offering up a series of missions that explore what Lucas was doing in between all of those exciting bits in the feature film. Unfortunately, it turns out that he wasn't doing much of anything other than collecting hundreds of odd and pointless items while also whacking his enemies with sticks at every opportunity. In a nutshell, that's the entire game-talk to a character, go collect something, and then bring it back. Mindless combat is intended to break up the monotony, as is the occasional obligatory boss battle, but that's not exactly a winning formula: Monotony + Monotony = The Ant Bully.

To be fair, all of this was true of the original GameCube version of the title, so maybe we should give Midway points for consistency. If the goal of the developer was to mimic past iterations of the game as closely as possible, then it succeeded admirably. Almost nothing has been altered this time around, and that's a cardinal crime for a launch title on a new console. The draw distance seems a bit farther out, and some of the collision detection may be more precise, but these are hardly significant leaps for a console with as much promise as the Wii. The graphics are still the same muddy mess as before, and there isn't even any progressive scan support to help sharpen things up. The only two changes to the controls seem to be the ability to shake the Wii remote to trigger an attack with Lucas' stick and the necessity to twist the nunchuck for camera control or vehicle steering. Not exciting.

In fact, let's briefly discuss the brilliance of creating a kids' game and then mapping the camera controls to the nunchuck attachment. First, have any of you ever heard of camera control being handled by the left hand? Anyone? No, we thought not. Second, considering the relative dexterity of minor children, who thinks it's a good idea to assign camera control to the same hand that controls character movement? Again, outside of the folks at Midway, probably no one. The Ant Bully is basically asking small children (the only possible audience who could find something to like in this crapfest) to use their miniscule thumbs to guide a character around and then twist their wrists to get a better look at things. We've seen this in action with a four- and nine-year old and the results aren't pretty. The slightest twist of the nunchuck results in a massive swing of the camera, which then requires a different direction of input on the control stick, which then tends to lead to more slight wrist-twisting, which then shifts then camera again… and so on. It's sickening… literally. Motion sickness bags are, sadly, not included.

There's really not anything positive that can be said about The Ant Bully. It's a sloppy port of a GameCube title that wasn't any good to begin with, and the half-hearted attempt at introducing motion sensing is weird and counter-intuitive. Adults won't like it, children don't like it and absolutely no one should pay money for it-not even as a rental. Heck, we got our copy for free, and we still feel cheated. Stay far, far away from this trash.

Jan 15, 2007 | 0 comments
David Tolin