Serious Sam

April 29, 2003

[floatleft][/floatleft]Now I don’t know what you have heard about his game, but for twenty bucks this game is quite entertaining. Serious Sam was first introduced to me by The Wraith at EB. He had mentioned that his wife really was entertained with Serious Sam’s “Quake” like game play. With massive killing and very little plot, this seemed like a game that I should try out. It’s important that you know that I am the biggest FPS fan you will every meet, so needless to say you are probably going to read good things about this game…MAYBE!!

Once you pop the game into your Xbox it will seem that it may have a good story behind it. IT DOESN’T!!! Somehow the world has been taken over by freaky looking aliens and other extremely odd creatures and the only person that can save the world is none other than…yes you guessed it…Serious Sam!! Some how, Sam is then sent back in time to destroy the creatures, and also he needs to collect some elements that are similar to the ones in the movie “The Fifth Element”.

[floatright][/floatright]I have put in close to ten hours playing Serious Sam and I have not beaten it yet. It usually takes me about that much time to beat a game. It is impossible for me to beat this game, the game continues on forever with no end. I’m sure this game has an end, but I haven’t seen it yet. Serious Sam is an all around shoot ’em up game. With tons of enemies and guns, the carnage never ends on every level. Each level is set up with certain weapons that are given to you, so that means that only certain types of creatures are after you. As you progress throughout the game, the creatures become more intense with insane numbers. If your worried about power ups or armor…don’t! Each level has an insane amount of armor, power ups, extra life, and ammo everywhere. What’s really hilarious about this game is that there is no pivotal point to the game except getting an insane amount of points. You can literally run through each level without shooting one round. Unfortunately, if you do that you won’t receive one point or extra bonus stuff. Every level is filled with secret passages, treasures, and extra weapons. Serious Sam can carry insane amount of weapons and ammo, that’s another thing that I really enjoyed about this game. While your running around blowing up psycho looking creatures, you can scroll through your list fifty or so weapons as the game progresses. Rocket launchers, miniguns, canons, sub-machine guns, flamethrowers, laser guns, the list keeps going. So if you’re worried about variety, don’t stress, this game has it. Another entertaining option about this game is its multiplayer. Mass chaos is also very fun with sixteen of your friends if your wanting to system link that is.

I have pretty much summarized the simplicity of the game by now. So you would think that if the game play is simple, the control scheme must be. The controls in Serious Sam are very user friendly with very little management and responsibility. You don’t have to worry about reloading, because it’s done automatically for you. Once you do run out of ammo for that particular weapon that you are using you are automatically switched to the next weapon with ammo in your arsenal. The only management on your controlling pad that you have to worry about is deciding what weapon you want to use. Strafing, running, and jumping are the basic movements on your toggle sticks.

Now comes the bad part of the game. I’m not planning on spending much time on explaining the graphics aspect of this game. Why you ask…because the graphics just plain suck on every level of the gaming spectrum. I mean there is not much to describe because it sucks so damn bad its not even funny. I laughed so hard when I saw them at first. However, I did not buy this game for the graphics. I bought this game for the sole purpose of running around and blasting things to death.

[floatleft][/floatleft]With that said I can move on the overall challenge of this game. This game is completely insane on normal difficulty. Serious Sam has about four different difficulty levels to choose from. Currently I am playing on normal, and the levels take me almost thirty minutes to an hour to complete because of the wicked battles that I encounter. Creatures just never stop respawning. More than anything you will need to play this game is stamina. Bosses at the end of the levels are easy to get through. Trust me, it will only take you one time to kill every boss; it just takes a long time.

There is really no point to out develop one aspect of the game if the other part sucks. The sound is no different than the graphics, they both suck, the sounds of the creatures are horrible, Sam’s dialogue is corny and cheesy, and the music sounds like it was ripped off the soundtrack of a porno. One thing I want to warn you about in this game, is the distant screaming that starts really low then gradually becomes louder and louder. That sound is the sound of “The Al-Qaeda suicide bombers”. They run around each level with their domes lopped off and with two bombs in their hands ready to explode when they are in close proximity to you.

For twenty dollars I think that Serious Sam is a very entertaining game if you’re into the cheap FPS genre. It’s simple, cheap, and fun. I suggest renting it if your not convinced to purchase it. However, its only twenty bucks and it seems like a never ending game with great possibilities for sleepless nights.

Score: 5/5

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