First off let me say that I have a love/hate relationship with
RTS games. Had it not been for Soda teaming up with my pathetic
ass I would never win. As a matter of fact, I seem to lack the multitasking
ability for micromanaging my troops and building more units at the
same time. When I heard that Warcraft 3 was going to implement some
role playing elements into the gameplay it made my ears perk.
So the crew goes out and purchases three copies of WC 3 and we
install the bad boy on our boxes. I start to play and I’m really
digging the Hero thing. The idea behind leveling him up is fantastic.
When you finally get some cool ass spells unleashing them is truly
a sight. Well the time has come to play online and BAM! I’m 0-5
in like an hour. Now I know what you are saying, "Pic, what’s
up man do you suck that bad?" No my friends I do not. It’s
just that I seem to attract rushers like flies to crap. I often
wonder what the hell is the point of playing an RPG when you aren’t
given the chance to level up you character. Oh, Oh, and don’t think
I don’t know that if you play a human level 6 you are not a rusher,
cause guess what? He is bringing 6 footmen and a mage with water
elementals in about 2 and half seconds. Point is, if you want to
enjoy an online game please feel free to do the following:
Pickles Guide to Enjoying Online Play
- Get a punching bag
- Buy a label maker
- Buy some frozen chicken
- Create the handle of your opponent
with the label maker (get a cool color one too, they come in black,
but I find that red labels make for better effects.) - Paste the name of your opponent on
the punching bag - Wait for the rush…wait…oh it
will come - Beat the living shit out of the punching
bag! Accept your loss like a man (while he is taking out your
remaining buildings, run some good smack) - Bake the chicken with lemon pepper
sprinkled evenly on it and then serve with a lime for a Hawaiian
theme (Soda claims that limes make chicken Hawaiian).
That should make for a more enjoyable playing experience. If its
pointers you’re interested in then, email Soda. He seems to be the
only one of us to actually comprehend surviving for more than 5
minutes.
Oh yeah this game rules…go figure.
