Questions Feature: Snackbar Edition

October 7, 2005

1. How come no matter how much you play a game, no matter how good you are at the game, or no matter how much you know about the game, there will always be someone better than you who obliterates you completely every time because they play it all day, everyday, for their entire life?

2. Why did Pickle ultimately decide, after months of not having an answer, for me to finally buy [i]Neverwinter Nights[/i] so that we can roleplay, only to have him play twice with me and then never play the game again?

3. Why is [i]Savage[/i], for lack of a better description, the absolute worst game I have ever played in my life?

4. How come MMOs that charge for online play are the worst games ever? Dear MMOs, [i]Guild Wars[/i] found a way to make theirs free. You should do the same. Love, Milkdud.

5. Speaking of MMOs, since we have had MMOs based on [i]Final Fantasy[/i], [i]Lord of the Rings[/i], [i]Star Wars[/i], [i]The Matrix[/i], and [i]King Arthur[/i], when will we see an MMO based on the Roman Empire era or the ancient Greek era? That I might actually buy. Especially if one of the NPCs is named Kratos and he gives you experience based on how good you are in bed.

6. How come someone forged fake pictures of the rumored [i]Chrono Break[/i], the sequel to the wonderful [i]Chrono Cross[/i], and those pictures included screenshots of [i]Final Fantasy XI[/i] characters and settings, with one of the pictures having the body of a tonberry and the head of Admiral Ackbar from [i]Star Wars[/i]?

7. How come online gaming is marred by people who hack and upload viruses into peoples’ computers? Dear people, is playing the game not good enough? Must you ruin other peoples’ computers to make your gaming more enjoyable? Love, a recent victim of such attacks.

8. How come, if given the resources and time, I could literally make one of the best video games ever made? And how come other people who have that exact thought only end up creating games like [i]Super Monkey Ball[/i] and [i]Lord of the Rings: The Third Age[/i]?

9. Why do elitists in games decide to either boss other players around; stop playing with people who are of a lesser skill; laugh and taunt those lesser players as they mercilessly beat upon them; or a combination of all three?

10. Finally, the [i]Halo 2[/i] question. How come, when playing matchmaking in [i]Halo 2[/i], does Xbox Live match four level 25+ players against three characters around level 18 and one character that is level 2? Why are those games the absolute best, because my team completely annihilates the lower levels and sends them back to [i]Halo[/i] school, thus making me and my team a bunch of elitists who satisfy questions 1 and 9?