Xbox Live

December 4, 2002

OK so as most of you beautiful people who inhabit this great earth
should know that xbox LIVE has stormed Gods country "America".
And yes some of you have already spent sleepless nights staring
into the radiance of your television while talking mad smack to
many as you destroy them, or (like me) getting destroyed! I had
the privilege of purchasing one of very few xbox starter kits that
were left in the store before some booger-eating fourth grade spoiled
brat begged his dear ‘ol Mommy to buy it for him. And yes since
I am the only one outside the magnificent three (Pickle, Soda, and
Snowcone) that has played on LIVE, then I am entitled to say absolutely
anything about this damn thing. I really couldn’t buy all the games
that were supported for LIVE…I think its pretty communist that
they only released a very small variety of games, and on top of
that they didn’t freaking make Halo supported on LIVE. Let me tell
you that setting up the LIVE system could be a breeze, or can be
like a Mexican trying to learn Japanese geometry.

Once you’re on, its pretty easy going to through the setup. You
can be real creative by coming up with a gamer handle, I’ve seen
handles ranging from PimpCock to FreginLazer. I myself like to stay
conservative and use the same one I’ve been using forever. Moving
on, you obviously want the full effect of LIVE so make sure you
purchase a game that is LIVE supported. I had to settle with Unreal
Championship. It was the only game that was close to satisfying
my Halo craving to playing online. The headset is ok…it has a
volume control and also a mute button. You also have the option
of disguising your voice in several different masks, some are annoying
and some are just ok. I suggest NOT using them. You would expect
every person playing would talk mad trash, but you are sorely mistaken.
Let me tell you that this game just gets way out of hand when your
on LIVE. Its just freaking insane, its like playing "Quake"
while consuming insane quantities of speed, coke, and any other
drug you freaking insane kids do. I mean it’s insane, I mean really,
its just way to fast and you have no clue what the hell is going
on. Of course there are those players who will dominate the channel
that you are in for hours for some ungodly reason.

Other than that if you want a quick taste of the xbox LIVE, I suggest
you get into it now. Rent a few games that are supported before
buying some. That way you know which poison to pick. Next on my
list; Ghost Recon, and Mech Assault. I am here to tell all to not
waste time! Donate blood, plasma, sperm…sell your old games, movies,
little brother or sister, whatever! Just get LIVE. Its great!